Diamond Ashes
by DaughterOfSorceress-Lion
Summary: New Moon AU - Bella: transformed through fire under the LaPush waters; alone. Edward: Forced to join the world of the Volturi to insure his family's safety; miserable. With a broken family, a broken heart, and a broken promise; prophecy becomes reality.
1. Fire and Water

AN: I'll be up front. This has a only few chapters worth of future, it is yet another plot bunny that refused to go away. More will come when inspiration hits. FYI this basically takes off in NM right after Bella Jumps. R and R

Summery: A flash of red hair. The current sucked me under. I was drowning, I was burning. I lay at the bottom of the ocean for three days. I emerged a vampire on Quileute land. Escorted to the frozen tundra by my best friend and natural enemy. Nearly a year later, I found _them._

**Diamond Ashes**

Prologue: Fire and Water

It was exhilarating. The fall, the splash, the pain. But this wasn't jumping in a pool, I should have realized. There were rocks yes, I knew that. But the waves were harsh from the coming storm. The undercurrent was pulling me down. I tried fighting it. I really did. Swim parallel to the shore, I remembered that from some obsolete class in Phoenix. But I hadn't exactly been eating well or taking care of myself. Even if I had been I probably still wouldn't have been able to fight the current.

It pulled me under, I held my breath, my head hit something hard. A rock presumably. I was dunked several more times. Each time I fought. But then I realized, what's the point? I can't win against nature. There's no psychic to see me, no werewolf to save me. I gave up. And I heard him, more importantly, I saw him. His face was tortured. His expression grave, his words snarling.

_Bella don't do this to me. You can make it. Please, Please try harder._

It was a dream come true as always, that he would actually care for my well being. I stared up at him, My subconscious's last ditch effort to persuade me to live. But there was no point anymore was there? I began to sink, my head almost all the way down. The waves crashing around me deafening my hearing. I closed my eye's let go my air and began to fall into the bliss that death was to be.

But my luck has never been that great. It figures life wouldn't give me the easy out, it never had, it never would.

I felt myself being pulled from the water. Even with the deafening roar of the waves crashing into the rock wall, I could still hear the water draining out of my cloths. I was being held up by the back of my shirt. I was coughing, regaining my breath. Then I felt a hard, very cold finger trace my jaw line. My eye's shot open, and the fear that enveloped me was indescribable. She could no doubt smell it… after all, what predator can't smell fear? She was smiling, it was strangely almost motherly, but then I looked into her red Irises. I could see the hate, the revenge. I was still going to die today, but not after a shit load of pain.

Her crimson hair blew in the wind as I dangled at her mercy. I could clearly hear Edward roar in rage as Victoria laughed without humor.

"A mate for a mate. Even if he valued your humanity more than you, when that little pixie sees you die… So will he."

"NO!" That was the last word I would speak as a human. Victoria dropped me into the water at the crest of a wave as it bashed my arm into the rock leaving it and probably a few ribs broken. I couldn't breath. I could hear Edward… he had no words for me, only my lullaby. I sunk into myself to listen to that as I let go the connection of mind to body as I refused to scream in agony. I would not make another sound.

She broke both my legs, my arms, my spine. All in multiple spots. It hurt so very much. But I just let my lullaby lull me to sleep as blood loss and pain took their toll on my body and my brain. Eventually during my torture, consciousness did leave me. But then I felt fire, I felt a burning fire on my neck. It was then that I screamed. It was then that Edwards lullaby held no escape. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours, but eventually I heard a growl, several actually. I may die, but hopefully I would be Victoria's last kill.

"You will live forever in agony. Changed in pain, forever in pain. I die, my Mate's revenge fulfilled." And then water consumed me. My entire body was on fire, my lungs were on fire. I gasped for breath but inhaled water instead. I coughed it out as my lungs begged for air as my body refused to cooperate and take me higher. I was sinking, sinking, swirling, falling, dying, changing, my lungs were on fire as they burned without oxygen. Water could not douse this flame.

I convulsed as I fell and my screams were lost to the world. Unconsciousness would not come even though Oxygen was unavailable in it's breathable form. Perhaps my lungs had already begun to change. Or perhaps this was just a really bad dream.

The water this far down had calmed somewhat, though I was fairly sure It was dark, but I wasn't sure if my eye's were open or not. At this point I didn't care. My mind along with the rest of my body was beginning to be enveloped in the pain of that lashing fire. And conscious thought eluded me for some time.

Eventually I could hear small bottom feeders as they crawled on the bottom of the ocean floor. That's when I realized, I too was at the bottom of the ocean floor. I could hear the sonic waves given off by some of the fish as they tried to find their next meal. I was beginning to wonder how big of fish were down here. Oddly enough I noticed I was breathing in water, and breathing it out. It was honestly a little creepy not knowing what else was in the water.

Then the pain began to recede from my extremities. I could feel the murky sand beneath my finger tips Then the fire crawled leaving my arms, my legs, my head was fairly clear but the blazing inferno in my torso would not relent. Though in time I could feel the fire crawling back up my veins into my heart. I could hear my heart beating faster than should be human possible and still live. But then I realized… after this, I won't be alive.

Then it stopped. I stopped breathing, as I didn't need to breath at all, I tried to breath out all of the water in my lungs, but I'm sure there was left over's I would have to cough out. I opened my eye's and what I saw was beyond spectacular. It was day, I could see that. The surface of the water seemed so very far away and yet far too close. I could see an extra color humans could not and I could see every dust particle in the water. It was honestly amazing.

I couldn't come up yet though, not until the sun was gone. Pick today to be sunny. My luck. So I stayed still watching the life around me. I will admit, A very vague memory of going to a natural history museum reminded me of why a marine biologist was never on my list of possible careers. This stuff freaked me out. I was just hoping that if for some odd reason, Sharks hung out around here, I would win.

Then the thought of blood hit me. I noticed the scratching burn at the back of my throat, and groaned underwater, which I could surprisingly hear. But honestly, a cold blooded fish held NO interest for me. Even though I could smell it… the fish. If animals were tofu, Fish were probably the equivalent to a rotten egg in human terms. I would wait. And I would make sure that where ever I came out, people were NOT around.

When it seemed dark enough, I moved from my place and stayed underwater as I swam around the shores, looking for a human less spot that I could come out and hunt at. It was amazing how fast I could swim. If I could swim this fast, how fast could I run?

Eventually I realized I could probably just scale a rock wall. But there was still no guarantee that I would not run into a human. Once again I reminded myself to not breath. And my head popped out of the water. I sniffed briefly, experimentally, and the remaining water came up as I hacked it out of my useless lungs.

I scaled the wall rather easily despite my soaked clothing. Hardly weighed a thing. I didn't really know what to do at this point. I remembered Ed… I remembered _him_ telling me that they gave into their senses. I sniffed again before I tried it. I smelt something edible, but nothing delectable. With that I gave in. I caught several dear. I had filled myself as best I could, it actually felt rather sloshy in my stomach.

I sat unnecessarily thinking about my options. Thinking about what had happened to Victoria. The wolves had gotten her, at least I hoped they had. But what about me? Was I on their land, was I breaking the treaty? Where was I any way? Had I been left for dead, searched for but not found?

As I thought, the wind changed direction and an atrocious smell assaulted my sense of smell. It honestly smelt like wet dog smells to humans. I could vaguely remember that. Vaguely.

I instantly searched my memories, I had too keep my memories of my mother, of Charlie, even Phil. But I had too keep my memories of the Cullen's. No matter how much thinking about them hurt, and it hurt a lot. Far more than the Burning did. Their absence hurt more than my transformation. There was still a gaping hole in my chest, and my brain was all the more apt to comprehend just how much pain I was in. It was no wonder I had been catatonic then zombie like. My human body couldn't handle this pain. But my vampire body could. I could still function, even with the pain. I sighed and breathed in again. I froze.

I stood quickly and turned around. My second family, the one that had taken me in during my pain. The pain caused by their natural enemy. I was now a part of that group. We were natural enemies. I was going to have to leave. Because they weren't all in Wolf form, I could only assume they weren't going to kill me. That kind of sucked. I fell to my knees as my I slowly let go of my Wolf family. The hole in my chest grew. I sobbed tearlessly. Venom coating my eye's but not falling. Then I felt a fire embrace me. I looked up…

"Jake… I can't stay, can I?" He didn't say anything. But he did start shaking. Whether he was silently sobbing or about ready to phase, I didn't know, nor did I care. I just embraced my Sun as I shook and sobbed. When both of us settled. Sam, also not in wolf form stepped forward. His face downcast. I knew his answer. He looked at me in the eye. The reflection I saw scared me, Crimson eye's, brown shiny hair… It hardly looked like me.

"I'm sorry Bella. Sorry we were too late to save you. To us… to everyone, you are dead, you're tombstone is laid over an empty filled in hole." I looked at him.

"How's Charlie?"

"Billy and Jake have been keeping him company, he is grieving as any parent would. You can not see him, or anyone."

"I understand… What about Renee, do you know?"

"She and Phil have also been grieving. Seeing how adamant you were about staying in Forks, it was agreed that you're memorial would stay in Forks cemetery." I nodded my head

"Jake, Embry, and Quill will be escorting you to the Canadian wilderness." I nodded my head again.

"I'll miss you guys." The wolves could no longer stay in place. Jake retreated into the woods, I heard him take his cloths off and phase. The wolves were next to me. Everyone, including myself had their noses scrunched up. But we all ignored it. I patted each of their heads as they looked up at me with sorrow. I smiled sadly as Jake emerged.

"Hold your breath, and Run, not ahead, not behind, but with them." Once again I nodded, looking to the wolves around me. Then I looked at Sam.

"Thank you for taking me in, I will be forever grateful." he looked to say something else… I took a stab in the dark.

"I know, I can't come back." He nodded glad for my understanding. "Tell Emily I said thanks too." He smiled at that, nodding again. I turned around.

"Lets go guys."

The three guided me as I followed next to them, Jake in front, Embry and Quill at my sides. I could have gone faster. But I didn't know my way to Canada, and this was the last time I'd see them.

The wolves stopped. So did I. They all turned to me once again as I ruffled their fur lightly. I wasn't sure how strong I was.

"Can I breath?" Jake nodded his head. It wasn't the best idea as they did smell revolting… not as bad as the fish though. I lightly kissed each of their foreheads and said my last words to Jake.

"I hope you imprint on someone who deserves you. You deserve that." he whined and I chuckled lightly.

"Go home, be safe, and Thank you." They all did a small bow of sorts then turned off and Ran. I turned around. Canada… Nice. I looked at the frozen cloths I was wearing. Alice would screech… And there was the pain again. I don't know how long I was there wrapped up in a ball, I had no sense of time, no sense of anything really. I didn't bother to count the day's, I had no point, no purpose, no existence, no life… I just was.

I had come across no town, I just fed on animals, dear, elk, bear, a few others here and there. As the days passed, I noticed the snow began to melt, little by little. Summer was coming. I sighed as I finished up my latest hunt. My cloths still frozen, torn and bloody, but still functional. For one moment in time, I returned to my memories as a human. Edward… I fell to the ground clutching my un-beating heart. _He _had said he had thought about suicide at one point. Italy someplace. It was a thought to keep in mind. I would have to find some humans sometime in the next year or so and test out my ability to resist them.

Then I could go, I'd probably have to swim, I didn't exactly have any money on me. And had no reason to want to fly in an enclosed space with humans… that might be bad if I lost it. I'd end up swimming anyway. But that was still a year away. Until then I would have to just function, drink, and curl up into my favored position and pretend to sleep as I suffered the pain of the loss of not just my vampire family, but my wolf family, and my biological family as well. I was alone. Always alone. My luck.

I finished my latest bear. They were better than dear. But I didn't wrestle with them like Emmett did. I didn't want my cloths any more Screwed up than they already were.

Emmett… my mandatory spike of inhumane pain came and my I curled up in my patented fetal position laying on the snow next to my unburied bear. I was there for a long time, to the point that the bear froze. The snow fell and buried the bear naturally and me along with it. Things had grown cold and frozen again. The snow layered in ice. It was easy to burrow up through it though. I ran in one direction trying to keep my mind off of anything and everything. I ran in another direction, just focusing on the wind, and the snow, and never looking at myself in the sun. What I wouldn't do for a book, or even a journal. I sighed again… Then I stood stock still.

The vampire stood and growled protecting it's catch. A strawberry blond. I held my hands up telling her I meant no harm. The Denali clan… it must be.

"Are you of the Denali coven?" She nodded slowly as she worked herself out of hunting mode.

"Yes, I'm Tanya. Any you are?"

"Bella."

"Newborn?" I nodded my head. "And a vegetarian." My eye's must have at least started to change color then. I nodded. Her head cocked to the side ever so slightly. Then she turned around and finished her Elk and disposed of it. She had turned her back on a newborn… I found that rather odd.

"Follow me." And so I did.

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AN: Well what do ya think?


	2. Apology

AN: YAY, I know we all love them... I do apologize

I was reading some random Twilight fanfiction. I've come across OOCness, I try to avoid it but you come across it everywhere. But this was just soooo out there. I don't know why I kept reading it, but I did and I actually felt sick, that someone could destroy the basic fabric of the characters so much while keeping them in Meyers given Vampire/Human world. I started looking back over my twilight stories, I realized that I can recognize character traits... I'm good with sympathy, and empathy here and there. But I looked, and I can't write them correctly. It makes me really really mad and honestly... my twilight stories dont receive the time and effort that my other stories do, and I feel bad. I can't seem to continue without compleetly twisting and turning personalities to a point that disgusts me.

There is always a story to be told and I put Diamond Ashes and Morning Scars, out there, because there is a story. One I can't seem to write and be happy with. I'll still be reading and reviewing the stories that I have been, but I'm not sure I'll be reading much else in the twilight fanfic area... and given time I can see myself rewriting what I have and continuing. But untill then both of my twilight stories are one Hiatus. I apologize, I really do. I consider it an authors duty, once they begin telling a story, that the story be finished. I know that's not always possible, and there are good reasons for them all. Time the most common. But untill I feel I can give the stories the time they deserve... they will not be continued. I know it's sad, Diamond Ashes only has one chapter. I'd almost consider putting up an author auction, but it wouldn't feel right to abandon it like that.

I know I sound crazy and obsessed. They're just stories... I know. But that's just me.

So I just wanted to thank you all for the support that you have given me so far and apologize for not being able to continue at the moment. Seriously, thank you for spending your time reading my writing. I do take it to heart.

My sincerest apologies.

DOS-L


	3. Isolation

AN: Inspiration struck and I was forced to write this, and I was satisfied that it fit the situation. Now, into the depths of the mind of Alice. An Alice in a tremendous amount of emotional pain… I will warn you now, this chapter is fairly dark, I hate doing this to Alice, but it's what needed to be written, and therefore, it is what will be read, should you choose to read it. R and R.

Ch1: Isolation

Alice POV

I stood on the doorstep of our extended family in Denali, knowing my sister was on the other side of that door, waiting for me to knock. I had to stifle a dry sob at the thought of Bella's pain, of her Anger. I would take it, I would take it all, because I knew that was what she needed, she needed a sister more than anything right now. Someone to listen, someone to yell at, and that would be me. I raised my hand to knock on the door, I paused just before I touched the wood letting the past year flit through my mind.

I had seen Bella jump from a cliff, she had surfaced briefly with a euphoric look on her face, only to be pummeled under by wave after wave. And then Victoria came and pulled her out, and drained her, and then there was nothing. I had been on an extended hunting trip with Jasper then, It was hard for him to be around me in my state, let alone the rest of the family. We had unwittingly left the glue that held the family together behind, as a human… I had thrown the worst tantrum I have ever had to date and Edward stood there taking it… already looking like a zombie. I threw trees, I threw boulders, I hit him, I tore his arm off and flung it into the distance. And he just stood there.

I showed him the pain that Bella would be in, I showed him what the family would be like, what the outcome of this endeavor was. I showed him, and yet he still could not see, he did not understand; and I realized that I couldn't make him. He had said that Bella was human, she would move on, she could live a happy human life… but she wouldn't. All it would do is cause unnecessary pain, he wouldn't be able to stay away forever. Perhaps being away from her was what he needed, for him to understand just how much he needed her. How much we all needed her.

The entire family watched the exchange. Each saw the logic in his assumptions, even I did. I deflated and let out the first of many anguished sobs. Edward retrieved his arm and Jasper came to my side. He knew I had gotten out what I needed to, and Edward hadn't fought me, so Jasper hadn't gone into over protective mode. But I was in much more pain than any physical wound could ever create. And Jasper did not retaliate for that wound inflicted upon me, because he blamed himself, and Edward didn't blame him which made him feel worse. Jasper just held me as the rest of the family packed up.

We left Edward that night, it would take a few days for him to work up the courage to leave her… When I saw what he told her… my venom boiled. It was almost as bad as the change from human to Vampire. It scared Jasper to bitts. My rage was inconsolable. When Edward came to join us I refused to talk to him. I ignored his existence. We were all in pain at seeing him so in pain, in even more pain than I was. It got to be to the point where Jasper had to take of for a few days on his own, leaving me in my despair. When he returned home he realized what he had done and promised me that he wouldn't leave me like that again… Ha!

Edward eventually left, for a few days and would come back, then he'd leave again. The time he was gone grew each time he left and the time he stayed diminished each time he returned. Then he didn't come back at all, just giving a ring now and then to let us know that he was alive… well, that he was existing. Sometimes when I would check up on him, I couldn't actually see anything, and confused it with a blank future. After the first few false alarms, I gave up on trying to decipher where he was and what he was doing. He wasn't doing anything he was just… wasting away in some dark pest infested hole.

After our fight in Forks, he had told me… asked me forcefully, to not look into Bella's future, to not interfere… but I was so attuned to her that sometimes I got glimpses. I forced myself out of them, which always left me dizzy, but what I saw… I hated Edward, I hated myself. She was in so much pain.

Sometimes, Edwards mind would waver, and he would get up to leave for forks and I would get a glimpse of the reunion. That future never lasted for more than a few seconds at most, but what I saw sickened me to my very core. Sometimes Edward would see her at school, he would see her zombie like state and he would beg… I never saw beyond the begging. Sometimes it would be to him crawling into her window at night to watch her sleep only to hear her scream in agony. God, those screams were blood curdling… and I didn't have blood. Charlie wasn't doing well either. The random visions were lessening in frequency. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Things were getting worse at home. Emmett hardly laughed anymore, it was straining the relationship between Rosalie and him. Esme was so distraught at the loss of her son and her newest daughter she hardly talked to anyone. Even Carlisle was having difficulties holding it together, especially because of Esme's condition. And Jasper and I had to leave every now and then, He didn't leave me ever, even with the discomfort, but we still loved each other, and we could still make each other forget our transgressions.

It was on such an extended trip I had the vision that ruined what little we had left. We weren't that far from the house when it hit me like a punch to the gut.

_Bella jumped off a cliff into choppy water. She surfaced once and let out a strangled laugh, her face euphoric. Then she turned and saw a large wave and her eye's widened in fear. The water threw her under, I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited… and Bella was being extracted from the water by Victoria unto a nearby rock. The damage done, every injury inflicted added to the sick feeling in my stomach, at least that's what I think it was, I couldn't be entirely sure. Victoria held what was left of Bella under water then dragged her out screeching at the limp body she held as waves crashed around them… and then it was gone. _

I tried to grab back at the vision, I tried, but there was nothing but darkness. I opened my eyes to see Jaspers expression worried beyond reason feeling my confusion, my pain. I tried to look for Bella one last time before the truth set in. My mouth set into a feral snarl as I screamed, falling to the ground and retching over the ground in front of me. I had choked up human food before, but I had never had blood go the wrong way. I didn't even know it was possible. I looked up to Jasper in horror as I heard everyone at the house rushing to see if we were ok.

I looked back down to the blood and venom covered ground in front of me… and I felt like I was somehow dying. Jasper fell to his knees beside me and I tried to throw him an apologetic look, but he was in as much pain as I was, plus the pain of those approaching us… and it was about to get worse. Unless I didn't tell them.

"I'll be back, I promise." I looked at Jasper and he was pained beyond belief.

"Alice… is…?" I choked back a sob.

"I'm going to go check on Charlie." His guilt was overpowering and he couldn't bring it in.

"How?"

"Victoria…"

"What…?" Carlisle knew it was one of two things that would leave me like this.

"Bella…" I had to go, I had to get away, I had to see if she was ok, to find the body if I could. I had to… she was my sister.

"I have to go." I took off running. I grabbed Carlisle's key's, he'd understand. I was in the Car and out of the driveway before anyone had made it back to the house. I left with one sound repeating in my mind… Jasper yelling for me to come back. Desperate for me to stay. But I couldn't.

When I pulled into Charlie's driveway I was greeted with a smell that could only be what Carlisle had once described as the wolves. I didn't care. I didn't care that my timing would seem far too coincidental. I didn't give a shit about anything or anyone except for Jasper and I had left him hurting. I was a monster… nothing new there.

I knocked politely and was immediately faced with a wolf in human form, he was quite a bit taller than me.

"Where's Charlie?"

"He's sleeping leech, what do you want?"

"Is Bella…?"

"Dead? Yeah, somewhere on the bottom of the ocean floor." And I crumpled at his feet. He snorted, I didn't care. My head bowed in silent dry sobs. "What do you care? You're the ones who left her." My sobs became not so silent.

"Does Charlie… need… any h… help?"

"We've got it covered blood sucker." He said it with such disgust. I looked up to him, I looked him in the eye. The pain he saw left him shocked and his jaw slackened. I saw his own pain there… so yet another man had come to be an admirer of Bella, only this one was in deeper… he loved her. He was covering his pain with anger, but when he saw my pain, I saw his.

"What happened?"

"She was being an idiot and tried cliff diving on her own. We were chasing the red headed leech, but she jumped into the water. Came around, sucked her dry. We were too late, I was too late. But we killed the leech, at least there's that." And I was jealous of the wolf because he had tears to shed.

"Have they found her?"

"No, the water was so rough… if they can't find her soon, they're going to call it quits." I knew it was against the treaty but…

"May I have permission to search for her? Please." My eye's begged of him.

"Sam?" Yet another wolf appeared. He looked down at me with a sneer. And then he saw my defenseless submissive stance. I was begging. His hatred, and it was hatred, turned to a disgusted pity.

"Do you think you can find her?" I nodded. The elder wolf looked to the younger one, "I'm going back over to Sue's to help her with Harry's funeral arrangements, let me know when Charlie wakes up. The younger wolf nodded. The elder looked at me.

"Follow me in your car." I got in and followed him to the beach. Two funeral for Charlie… That gut wrenching feeling was back. Two more wolves where there at the beach waiting for me.

"They will stand guard should you find anything." I knew that wasn't the reason, but I had no reason to object. I took off my shoes and my cloths, leaving my underwear on. Then dived in. It was an odd feeling, searching through the murky water on the bottom. I could hear, I didn't dare take in water, I had no idea what that would do to my system, but I was left without a sense of smell. So I opened my mouth to take in the taste… nothing, only the smell of fish blood. It was gross. I searched every square inch in as many directions as I could. I found nothing…nothing but sand and bottom feeders. I would have continued, but I couldn't.

_Rosalie picked up the phone, her words were blurry until one sentence came. The sentence she knew that she would say._

"_Alice is in Forks… Edward, she saw Victoria kill Bella."_

_And then I saw three men, the vampire's in Carlisle's painting of the Volturi, I saw my brother at their feet. And they killed him._

I was up and out of the water within seconds, I hadn't realized how far out I had gone, how much area I had covered, and still I saw no Bella, tasted no Bella. I rushed forward throwing my cloths back on. The two wolves were looking at me incredulously.

"I'm sorry, I have to go, I couldn't find her and I covered a good four mile radius… I…" My eye's stung with tears that could never be shed. "I have to go. Take care of Charlie." And I was gone. Edward had already called Charlie's house. I couldn't see it, hell I couldn't see anything over here. Maybe I couldn't see the wolves. That would explain why I had seen less of Bella and why I hadn't see the end… why my vision of Bella's end had been cut short. I really didn't care at the moment.

Edward knew that the Volturi wouldn't likely kill someone with his talents, he was coming up with plan after plan to provoke them, with each new plan I saw my brother die again. Over and over and over and over and over and over, I saw him die. I let out a sob as I called Rosalie.

"Alice." Rose's voice was filled with trepidation as it should be.

"He's going to Italy Rose, good going." I hung up and called Carlisle.

"Carlisle, Edward is going to Italy to provoke the Volturi, I have a shot at cutting him off if I leave from Seattle now. If you can take the next flight out at 3:30, we have a shot at stopping him all together. I'll make all the necessary calls, all you have to do is show up" Carlisle was silent.

"Ok. Well see you in Italy." I cut the call off and called the airports making arrangements and everything. It seemed rather shallow at the moment, but I couldn't believe I was going anywhere looking like the wet rat I looked like right now. And it seemed rather odd that I didn't actually care. I didn't care about a lot of things lately. Lastly I called Jasper.

"Sweatheart…" Jasper's voice was strangled.

"I'm sorry Jazz, I'm so sorry." It was odd between him and I, that a look in the eye could be just as comforting as a sensual caress, how just listening to each other breathe was just as comforting if not more so than actual words of comfort. Given Jaspers ability, it is far more effective when we are near each other, but even still, over the phone, focusing on his calm breaths calmed me, let me focus on the situation at hand.

"I love you Jasper. I'm at the airport, I'll see you soon."

"I love you my Alice. I'll be there before you know it." I smiled at him as I closed my phone sticking it in my pocket. I had a chance. Edward was fast, but if I could catch him in the terminal, with humans around. He wouldn't have a choice. I could delay him for the fifteen minutes difference in arrival time…

And I did, he looked like shit. It was no wonder really. I cut him off, I slowed him down, he was still set, and I was still seeing my brothers head ripped off and burned away. And I pleaded with him, that I couldn't deal with loosing them both, but he couldn't… he wouldn't live in a world without Bella. But my pleading and my showing him his eventual relief and my continuous pain delayed him long enough. By the time that he heard them, it was too late. Jasper and Emmett and Carlisle restrained him and took him outside where he could growl and wriggle as much as he wanted. I rented us a charter plane to go back home.

Edward was anything but cooperative. We eventually hauled him home, he was forever in a state of despair. He was never left alone, for we all knew what he would do. It was selfish on our parts to keep him alive while he suffered so, but it was selfish of him to do that to the family, to kill himself. He knew, and he didn't care, no one cared about anything anymore. We were going mad, how had a human done this to us? Reduced seven vampires to crumbling asphalt.

Between everyone's despair and guilt Jasper and I still left a lot. Sometimes he would go off on his own, sometimes I would go off on my own. We weren't a family anymore, our spouses were hardly anything more than a distraction, something to take the pain away temporarily. But the pain was always there I didn't bother shopping, I didn't really need to shop, I hated moping, but it's all I ever felt like doing. We were existing. Carlisle hadn't been able to focus on work, he had almost lost a patient… that's when he knew he needed to step back for a bit. We were wallowing in wealth, yet we all felt dead. We felt as if we should take the place six-feet-under were we belong and join Bella…

So Jasper and I left… we didn't say it was for good, but I think Esme knew. But still, Jasper was so awash in guilt and I in sorrow, it did nothing. Sometimes we would just lay in our apartment bed for days on end just holding each other, not moving not doing anything. Just lying there… dying. At one point we laid for three weeks without moving. It was assumed that we had left I guess because the book keeper opened the door and when he found us still in there, looking dead, he gnawed on his very chapped lips. And we both lost it. Jasper snapped his neck and we shared the human. It was delicious. My first human… and I. Did. Not. Care.

I saw my husband with red eyes, and I saw in his eye's my reflection… I too had red eyes. And I was disgusted with myself.

"Alice."

I was done with silent weeping. My sobs were loud and full of every ounce of pain I had. Jasper joined me. The only way to go was up, but there was no ladder, only another cliff to fall off of. And fall off it we did. The human blood, it made us feel more alive than animal blood did. It was like a temporary fix for the pain… though it was still there, just dulled. And so the numbers climbed, it was the filthy scum of the human world, it was what Edward had done during his rebellion, what Jasper had been doing towards the end, before finding me

I avoided looking in the mirror, and I avoided looking Jasper in the eye. The pain was dulled by the human blood but Jasper and I couldn't hardly stand to look at each other. And one day, I just looked, I looked my husband in the eye and I know he was feeling as I was. And so we feasted on Bear that night, and for the first time in a long, long time, sex with Jasper felt like making love again.

We began trailing… unconsciously finding our way back to Carlisle… still with red eye's. We were shamed, but we wanted our family. But when we got there… there was no family to be found. For the first time in a long while I used my vision… only to find I was met with nothing. I tried again and I began to panic. I checked Denali, and I couldn't find them… It's not that they weren't there, it's that I couldn't see them, but I still knew that they were there somehow. But I felt nothing when looking for our family. I could not call, because I refused to face the possibility. But I could call the Denali's. It rang once, twice…

"Hello?" My breath hitched as the impossible sound reached my ears… I had heard it only once before…_ I love you Edward_… Her voice was gorgeous… and it was the voice that was talking to me now.

"Bella?"

* * *

AN: Hehe… am I evil or what? R and R…


	4. Desolation

AN: I have an official plot now. YAY! I changed the summery if you didn't notice.

Summery: New Moon AU - Bella: transformed through fire under the LaPush waters; alone. Edward: Forced to join the world of the Volturi to insure his families safety; miserable. Eleazar: "The Legend Of The Diamond Phoenix is no myth young Bella… it is you".

AN 2: I'm going to tell you now, you got a taste of darkness last chapter… that's probably not going to go away for a while, thus (Alice agrees with me on this one) angst will be this stories best friend for a while, and by angst… I mean blood sucking monsters in a shit load of emotional turmoil… without further ado…

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight... I mearly use it's times places and people.

Ch 2: Desolation

Edwards POV

I watched the slaughter in front of me in revulsion. I knew what was coming, so did they. I hadn't fed in well over a month, my eye's were not golden… they were black, there was no distinction between what I am and who I am anymore, and in a few seconds, that line would blur. I had already lost my reason for existence… may Hell swallow me whole.

**Three day's prior**

_Edward? Please, my son…_

…

"Please, Edward I can not bear this any longer."

…

"Edward you have not moved from this position in over two weeks, you have not fed in over a month. Please son, come hunting with Carlisle and I. Please?"

…

_Will you not answer me. Do we mean nothing to you?_

I had stared out the window for a long time, laying in a fetal position on my black couch in sweats. But that thought, and the agony behind it finally made my eye's move to look at her. I saw her agony, it was my fault, it was all my fault. I could not hold her gaze. My throat was incredibly dry without venom to cover it. I had not spoken in over two weeks, and my voice cracked.

"I'm sorry mother." She fell on her knees and dry sobbed, her hands grasping mine, her head resting on the side of the couch. I could not hunt, it was pitiful, but I needed the pain, I needed the burn. It was masochistic in so many ways. My freesia candle had burned out not long ago, the strawberry one was about to follow. It wasn't close to the same the fragrance marred by burning wax, but if only fleetingly, when I didn't think, I could almost feel her in my arms, her hair under my nose. She was my goddess, and she was dead… because I left her. My sorry good for nothing attempt to let her have a happy human life… gone. If I could have told myself… if I could have gone back and told myself, it would not have taken much convincing, knowing this pain. If Bella had been right, and I did have a soul, it laid with her, leaving me an empty good for nothing mass of Vampire.

"Go with Carlisle." My voice still cracked. She looked up at me,

_Why must you torture yourself?_

I had no sound answer for her.

_Emmett and Rose will be returning, then I will go to meet Carlisle at the hospital._

I nodded. She sighed leaning over me, leaving me with a kiss on the forehead. They never left me alone, There was always someone here, to make sure I didn't leave. Not that Esme could stop me… but I lay here for their benefit, it's not like I had anywhere but Hell to go.

Not much later I heard Emmett and Rose come in, both debating whether or not they wanted to see me, much like some wonder if they want to see a loved one in the casket after they are dead. Both decided on other activities to which I tuned out as much as possible. I was staring out my window again…

…

…

…

…

_There are only three._

_Only three, that's easy._

_Oh, to cause the pained, even more pain._

_Let's get this over with_

I hissed loudly and Emmett and Rose were in my room in less than two seconds, fully clothed surprisingly. Both in raw panic, I hadn't hardly moved let alone made any sort of reaction like this in so long…

"Four vampires are nearby, they are here to attack." Emmett's mind went wild for a fight as Rose tried to remain calm.

Run or Fight, we were outnumbered.

"We run." I grabbed my cell and jumped out of my room window with Emmett and Rose both bewildered at my sudden liveliness… I wasn't alive, I was just trying to keep them from death… from my death. I got Carlisle's voice message, he must have been out of range all ready.

"Carlisle, four vampire's were going to the house, they were going to attack. I don't know if you should go back, we are running north to…

_Shit!_

We came to a halt as Irina stepped out from behind a tree.

"Irina?" Rose spit out.

_Got them!_

"Who are your buddies?" Emmett asked. The Four vampires plus Irina surrounded us. Jane, Alec, Demetri, and Felix. Jane spoke.

"Irina, are these the traitors you spoke of."

"Yes." I looked up, her mind stayed blank, the others were blocking me fairly well also, but Felix got side tracked by Rose's figure. I tuned out the thoughts about her and dug deeper.

_Stupid idiots told a silly girl about us… now the shifters know of us… stupid brat._

The snarl was involuntary, I shouldn't have attacked him, but I did. Bella. Was. Not. A. Brat! I didn't get very far. I had heard of Jane's power, but to feel it… it was like loosing Bella again. _Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella…_

And then there was nothing. No up no down, no left no right, just nothing… a void, it was fitting enough for me, it felt like me. It was me… empty, timeless, broken, forgotten, loveless, and unlovable by any other than my reason for existence… but she was gone… _God!_

The pain the wracked my body was just the same as normal, even in this void… it took me a while to realize the void was gone.

"Jane, that's quite enough." I looked up to see where I was. The faces, the voices, The Volturi. I stood up. Behind me, Rose and Emmett lay on the floor, still under Alec's power. I wonder low long he could keep it up. I looked forward.

"Aro." I greeted. He wasted no time and took my hand in his. I saw everything… everything, every lonely minute, every happy one, every second after I left… I saw my own pain, my families pain… my fault. The happiness burned me more every second, but I did not fall.

Aro took his hand from mine and he gasped in shock falling to the floor, his thoughts muddled by so much pain… the pain that told me Bella was alive… then the pain that resulted from knowing that she wasn't. I was on the ground in a second. Jane clearly had no reservations about using her power. It ended eventually.

"La Tua Cantante… You fell in love with your la Tua Cantante… and she is dead?"

I did not answer him. Finding out that what she was to me had a name, was interesting in hindsight… but it didn't matter now. His distress was inconsequential. He got up feeling a bit shaky.

"What do you want?"

"Ah, not one for small talk, I can see that. Well, you see we came across a problem that required attention. Apparently a group of look alike werewolves took down your Denali friend Irina's mate Laurent." My mind reeled at that information. "She was informed of this by a woman by the name of Victoria" my growl was deep and primal, it only grew in loudness as he continued, "hoping to gain Irina's help, but the name Isabella came up and she promptly refused. But word of Victoria's defeat reached her, she still wanted revenge so she came to us for help. We have not addressed the wolf issue yet, but we wished to address that which is more pertinent and dangerous to us here. And that was that you broke our law."

"Yes and now… she's dea… d." I let out the dry sob, not bothering to hold it back. "It makes no difference now." I was going to die, I was going to hell… and because of my stupidity, my family was coming with me.

"Yes, but what if she wasn't? If she were alive, you still left a human in the know… that is in fact punishable by death." A thought flit across his mind… and existence was looking significantly darker.

"Then why haven't you killed us yet?" He knew my power through Irina… he didn't want me dead… I could only assume the still unconscious Rose and Emmett were his bargaining chips. Aro began his story telling for his fellow vampires… all who believed his word as absolute truth, except for me.

"Well you see, you're specific talent of mind reading from a distance," every mind went blank, then wary, and ever careful of their thoughts, it would have been humorous in another setting perhaps, "well, it seems just too horrible to put such to waste. When it comes to Bella, I understand her mental silence was intriguing to you, eventually her unusual observation skills led to your breaking the law. Now I understand that your family had no part in this to begin with, they only got sucked into it because of circumstances," that was one way of putting it, "that and I am rather fond of Carlisle. Thus I have found a rather merciful alternative. I let your family go as I let the Denali's go despite their mother… only instead of your death, you would repay the law in servitude amongst the Volturi guard. What do you think?" My hands were tied. Though Caius was seething at Aro's arrangement, Marcus was saddened by my situation.

"I accept on the condition that Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper, are pardoned in addition to Rosalie and Emmett."

"Of course. And I know you prefer the scum of the earth to feed on from your rebellious years, I could perhaps order straight from the chopping block if you so desire." I snorted.

_I'm sorry_

The thought came loud and clear, over everything else. I located the man behind the voice… Marcus. My eye's drifted to him, and I saw his life, I saw my future… a pointless future full of pain.

"That would be preferable. Your accommodations are too kind Aro." I sneered at him. He smiled and reached up to pat me on the head as he would a child.

"See off your friends Edward… Alec, release them." And so they began to wake up from their senseless sleep as we were all walked to a private room off of the lobby. Emmett groggily sat down on a plush couch, and Rose sat beside him. He looked up,

"Dude, where are we and why?" This wasn't going to be fun. But they would be safe, I hoped… and I'd know if they weren't.

"We are in Italy with the Volturi." Both Emmett and Rose's eye's flew open at that.

"Why!" Rose shouted, "What have we done?"

"We told a human." Rose stopped mid rant looking at me, a mix of rage, and fear and hate and pity and guilt swamped her thoughts, I rephrased. "I told a human, and our family is guilty by association."

"Well they're not going to kill us without a fight!" Emmett bellowed. I raised my hand at him, to get him to listen…

"No one else is dying. You have been pardoned."

_Dude I'm not going to let them kill my little bro!_ I smiled at the sentiment.

_But Esme… Carlisle, they'll be devastated._ Rose had been getting a lot of work at not thinking of only herself as of late, it was refreshing sometimes to hear such thoughts come from her.

"As I said, no one else is dying… as… she is already dead, and it's not your fault… they are pardoning you on the condition that I join them." They stared at me in shock. "You are free to leave when ever you want, I suggest sooner rather than later, I'm sure Carlisle and Esme will be worried after the message I left them."

"But Edward,"

"There are no buts Rose, you should be glad to have me out of the house. Give Carlisle and Esme my love, I'm still just a phone call away." I tried smiling, it hurt, and it didn't work. Demetri and Felix opened the door knowing my last words were said. Rose and Emmett got up, and before he left, Emmett turned around,

_See you soon brother, don't stay away too long._

He smiled but it did not reach his eyes. I followed their minds until they were out of reach, both sending me their silent goodbyes, Rose falling deeper into the depression that our failing family had sent her into… Our family had fallen apart, Alice and Jasper left, now I wasn't just a body in the house, I wasn't there at all… Perhaps I should call Carlisle and tell him myself. Or perhaps it would be easier to just leave that life behind me… what life?

The door opened again, it was Marcus, my fellow soulless monster. He handed me a set of cloths.

_The cloths of The Guard… Heidi will be here in just a few moments, now. You are to come feed with us. It is your initiation Aro will hand pick your meal and present them to you. You must feed on them or Aro will have your family killed. It will be over your head always… I am sorry._

I didn't understand his apology…

_It was my suggestion. I didn't know what you had lost, please forgive me._ My lips tightened, realizing that it was more than likely my self revulsion would increase exponentially, so I should be kind while I still could manage.

"Your idea saved my family, there is nothing to forgive, and I've only you to thank." he left me to change and I did so, walking out Marcus walked with me in silence… his mind was quiet. It would have been nice if not for the self hatred that occasionally flitted through his mind.

We walked in just before Heidi and her "catches". Aro said one word, and it became an orderly chaos. The fresh blood smell hit me and I groaned in a fitful pain only needing freesia to be completed. But I did not feed as Marcus had advised. I just watched in disgust, this is what I was to become.

Then the chaos ended leaving two humans who were too horrified to think coherently. All I could hear were the terrified mental screams of my coming meal.

"Welcome to our world son." I wanted to growl his at being referred to as son… I was Carlisle's, but I guess that didn't matter at this point. Aro backed away from the humans as the entire guard watched the "vegetarian" take a "normal" meal. One was male, mid twenties, the other was female early thirties… it could have been worse. I snapped the female's neck first, then the male's neck. Painless.

And I drank, and I drank, and I drank… all the while Bella sat at my side comforting me, rubbing my back, encouraging me, telling me that everything was all right… but she wasn't real, she was dead, and when a vampire hallucinates… nothing remotely good can come of that.

* * *

AN: I warned you… this is going to start off dark.


End file.
